


Never Learned To Love You

by FarAwayInWonderland



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [17]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Anniversary, Mentions of Major Character Death, Multi, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5690125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarAwayInWonderland/pseuds/FarAwayInWonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Marvey Fic Challenges <a href="http://marveyficchallenges.tumblr.com/post/136393494175/challenge-44-amnesty">prompt #11</a> - "That´s Not What I Signed Up For".</p><p>“Who would have ever thought,” he started and Donna listened. It was the same spiel every year, but they both needed – craved – it, so they continued to torture themselves with it again and again and again. “Harvey Specter and Esther fucking Edelstein?” He laughed. A sound of desperation, hurt and burnt-out love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Learned To Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Say hello to me on [tumblr.](http://specter-und-ross.tumblr.com/)

The ancient grandfather clock chimed as its hands struck twelve o´clock. Mike Ross, Senior Partner of Pearson Specter Litt looked up from where he was sitting, his arms folded and his cheeks still wet from the tears that had run over them a few minutes ago.

 _Midnight,_ he thought. _It´s over now. At least for another year._

He ran his hand through his hair, aware that it must be completely dishevelled right now, but nobody was here to see it, so he didn’t care. He took the glass of scotch, that was standing on the table in front of him – _it had been Harvey´s favourite one_ – and took a deep mouthful. The liquid burned in his mouth and left behind a sweet taste.

Like ashen and broken dreams.

“Mike?” Mike turned his gaze towards the door to the living room where Donna was standing. His secretary – had been that for five years as of now – and his somehow life partner. He chuckled to himself. Who would have seen that coming?

“You´re still awake?” Donna asked and walked over to him, sitting down beside him on the couch. Mike just confirmed her statement with a non-committal grunt.

“You shouldn’t do that to yourself,” Donna continued and carefully extracted the glass of scotch from his hand only to take a sip. “ _We_ shouldn´t do that to ourselves.”

“One time a year, Donna,” Mike replied morosely. “One time a year and then we can go back to business as usual. Is that too much to demand?” He looked at her.

“No,” she whispered. “I don´t suppose it is.” Then silence descended upon them. It could have lasted for only a few moments or for eternity. Neither Mike nor Donna would have known or cared. There was always silence on this special day of the year. Awkward silence. Calming silence. Deafening silence.

Mike hadn’t known that there could be so many different types of silence. He would give everything to not know.

“Who would have ever thought,” he started and Donna listened. It was the same spiel every year, but they both needed – _craved_ – it, so they continued to torture themselves with it again and again and again. “Harvey Specter and Esther fucking Edelstein?” He laughed. A sound of desperation, hurt and burnt-out love. “The ‘dream pair’ of PSL: The best closer of the city and the woman that made him want to settle down and have children.” He wanted to take another sip from the scotch, but then he remembered that Donna was currently in possession of it. “And then they get themselves killed in a car crash.”

Mike had always wondered why the he and Donna had been named the guardians of Harvey´s and Esther´s children in case something should happen to them and not Louis. But Louis couldn’t be in the presence of Anthony and Sarah without starting to cry. Even after all those years. And there had been no one else to take the children. Two infants whose parents had died before they were even a year old. Two children who would never remember their parents.

Sometimes, when Mike´s mood was especially low, he found it quite ironic that the two persons who had both loved Harvey so much were now taking care of his kids. Mike had never asked Donna and she had never asked him, but he suspected that her feelings for Harvey had been far from platonic. Like his own had been.

And then Esther Edelstein had come and stole Harvey away, right in front of their eyes and they couldn´t have done anything. It left a gaping hole where Mike´s heart had been which he tried to ignore every day since then.

He and Donna never talked about it. And they never would.

There were hurts that had to be concealed from everyone. There were injuries that belonged hidden until the day you no longer were.

Pain that you had to endure quietly by yourself while the other was sitting with arms reach.

“Anthony´s science fair at his kindergarten is tomorrow,” Donna was the first to shatter the silence. “Will you be there?”

“Of course,” Mike replied. He had helped Anthony compiling his project over the last few weeks. There was nothing on Earth that would keep him from seeing his son letting all the other kids eat dust with his intellect.

“You know it´s not a competition, right?” Donna said.

“Well, it should be,” Mike replied. “And even if it isn´t, Anthony would win nevertheless.”

“You sound like…” _Like him_ where the words that wouldn´t come over Donna´s lips. _Like Harvey_. Like the man they had both loved and lost long before he had left them.

Sometimes Mike grieved the fact that he couldn’t love Donna. They had married each other so that their guardianship over Anthony and Sarah couldn’t be challenged in any shape or form. It had been required of them, in order to give the twins a family that couldn’t be torn apart by the very law Mike so dearly loved.

Harvey´s mother was a vicious and bitter woman, who had wanted the twins only for what they represented.

“Da? Mom?” Mike and Donna looked up. There, on the threshold stood what looked like a miniature copy of Harvey Specter. The same eyes, the same smirk and the same iron-will to succeed. Only the black hair he had inherited from his mother.

“What is, sweetie?” Donna cooed and pulled Anthony in her arms.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Anthony replied.

“We couldn’t either,” Donna replied. “Should I tuck you in? Maybe you can sleep when I read you a story?”

“Harry Potter?” Anthony asked and his eyes shone with joy.

“Yes, you can have another chapter,” Donna said and ruffled his hair. “Say ‘Good Night’ to your daddy.” Anthony turned around to look at Mike.

“Night, Daddy,” he waved.

“Sleep well, Anthony,” Mike smiled. Then Donna led the boy back to his room. Mike watched them.

Maybe he would never learn to love her, but he could appreciate what they had.


End file.
